Why is love So hard when I am Loving you

Amy POV.

 

Wow the plane ride there was pleasant beside for Skye tossing and turning in her seat.

She was talking to someone. It was kind of creepy.

As the plane landed I woke Skye up from her little dream land.

"Skye its time to get up the plane has landed"

"Oh wa okay "

We head out of the plane and I catch out of the side of my eye a guy that looks just like Jyrki69 my heart skips a beat The is no way it is him because they are tour in the USA I thought.

 

Jussi69 pov

 

Things are falling apart lately.

My dreams have been so fucked up lately I can't think straight.

I just need to go home and rest for a bit I think that will help a whole lot.

"Jussi do what a drink?"

Baize holds out a beer for me

"Sure "

Jyrki finally gets back to the car after searching for him lost ring.

"Did you find it?"

"Yes and I seen some dinner "

I look at him and the boys how could they be thinking about blood at a time like this

"Well you guys have fun with that I'm staying in tonight"

The guys look at me like I have never said that before.

"Jussi you have to go out with us tonight it wouldn't be right "

I don't want to go but I feel like I have to so I will

"Okay but Im not eating tonight "

"Okay "

Jyrki just looks at me he knows something is wrong with me I just wish he would tell me what it is because I really do not know.

 

Skye POV

I open the door to my sweet little condo in my favorite place I already feel better.

It amazes me each time I come here its like the other half of me.

I run up to my bedroom and see my two big closest filled with my clothes my beautiful reviling club clothes and my sweet and romantic dinner clothes I cant wait I think Amy did the best thing for me.

I turn around to jump into my bed but I see a picture of Nick next to and it sends me back to time we came here to get away for a week gosh we spent day in and day out in the bed or in the Kitchen.

Amy walks in to my room and I just look at her and fall to the ground crying

"Oh my god Skye sweetie "

"Its okay im okay lets just go out and have fun"

I smile a fake it didn't fool Amy at all

"Skye I brought you here to cheer up not fall down in to a worse depression Sweetie I care about you "

 

I smile a real smile this time it felt good that she cares about me that I have a real friend

"Okay -I jump up and give her a hug- lets go out tonight "

Amy runs in to my closet full of clubbing clothes and pulls out my most reviling outfit

"Where this"

"What nooooo you can I wont "

"Ha okay then this"

She pulls out  a simple little black dress with a ankh on the back I wore that to my first 69 eyes show . I loved that dress it just spoke to me

 

I nodded my head in  approval the dress made me look hot.

Amy jumped up and down

Just seeing her happy made me happy I think this is her first time really clubbing with someone she gets along with.

Amy runs off talking to her self while putting on my skimpy little outfit.

 

Should i really be going out in a time like this.

Maybe im meant to go out and see what else os out there maybe i might just meet that voice that plays in my dreams.

 

Amy POV

 

Skye is already cheering up.

Im so happy I think that this trip has already helped her a little.

I cant wait to really go clubbing I have always wanted to go with Skye with all the crazy stories i have heard from Starr I know this is going to be a blast.

3 hours of getting ready past by make up shoes out fit changes (due to me lol )

I end up wearing a low cut Elvis shirt with a pair of black leather pants with sunglasses and Skye's fav ankh and Skye is wearing the simple black dress with a ankh on the back she has her hair put back in lovely flowing waves and curls she looks beautiful.

"You ready to go Skye "

Skye looks at her self one last time

"Yeah i think im ready to go "

Skye takes me out of her garage and pulls out the most beautiful car i have ever seen in my life it was bright green like neon green with purple lights the inside had purple velvet seat and hanging from the mirror was a heartagram and ankh

"Skye where in the hell did you get this "

"My dad paid half then i did some modeling jobs and that paid for the other half"

"Oh wow what kind of car is this "

"lamborghini  de pablo"

"Wow"

I hop in the car and Skye just jets off not even giving me time to put on my seat belt

"Ha I have missed my baby "

She rubs the dash board

"Wow is all i can say Skye i never knew you had this "

"no one does not eve Starr your the first person to ever ride in it besides me "

"okay so what club we going to "

"I dont know yet but I know its going to be jumping and If not well we will just go to my favorite bar always has  good people and usually packed"

"Ooh Kay buddy lets go"

"So wanna see it go a little faster?"

I do but im scared for my life right now

"Yes"

I watch Skye's foot as she barely taps the gas peddle and we just shoot off into the night

20 mins later what would usually take me and hour drive we are at this nice bar people are just flowing in and out of the doors the people look so different it amazes me

"Well here we are I have to go in and let Joni know im here in town you can follow me or make your self at home "

I think i will follow Skye she seems so at home here It amazes me how she just lets loose here in Finland like nothing ever happen

 

Joni's POV

I see my good friend Skye walk in to the bar and my eyes just pop out of my head I have not seen her in a year she looks so different.

She walks over and her hair is just flowing like a goddess's she catches every guys eyes as she walks over to me.

"Skye Darling ! oh are you my love"

"Oh Im doing pretty good could be better My friend Amy here wanted to see Finland and I needed a break from the American life  style so i she packed u pall my stuff before i could even talk about it she made the plans so now im here"

I look at her friend Amy She looks like Skye's type but they are not hanging all over each other Im guessing when Skye said friend she meant it Amy is beautiful tho her hair is long and such a dazzling brown she has a wonderful smile wow these two girls have looks that could kill.

Amy just stands there like she is amazed at how free Skye is acting

"Well Joni I think we are going to go mingle a little you remember where my place is right"

"yes how could i ever forget "

"true ha "

Skye gives me a kiss on the cheek I have a sense something is wrong with her I just do not know what yet.

 

Skye POV

I feel so at home yet held back a little I don't want Amy seeing me completely relaxed because I don't know yet if she would like it I will slowly open up a little more and let her in. We flirt around with some of the guys in the bar and they buy use some beer. Things didn't feel right I felt eyes looking at me from across the room not eyes of hate tho loving eyes like they adored me I look around to see who is looking at me and well pretty  much every guy in the room but one group of guys stood out to me more than the rest I seen the 69 eyes and a few other famous rock stars. I just look away and kinda text it to Amy

-SkyexSabotage- Oh my gee Amy look over your shoulder to the left in the back

-AmyxAffection- What why?

-SkyexSabotage- Just do it trust me

Amy looks over her shoulder like someone said her name and see them

-AmyxAffection- OH MY GOD should we go over there or something I mean Jussi seems to be staring one of us down

-SkyexSabotage- Nah let them come to us

-AmyxAffection- do you think they will

-SkyexSabotage- They will if he is really staring us down

-AmyxAffection- okay =]]

 

After a few more beers I start to feel a little crazy but I hold my self back for Amy's sake

I start talking to this really handsome guy name Mark.

Amy is talking to Marks friend Mike and well during this conversation two guys come up I ignore them because I was bust talking to someone else Amy just nudges me in the side.

I look up and see it is Jussi and Jyrki from the 69 eyes.

"Um would you ladies like to join me and my friends over there "

I look at Amy and nod

Amy gets up and stands next to Jyrki automatically

I just sit there

"Hi im Amy "

I look up to Jussi and no words are spoken it is like we have meet before

I look over to Jyrki.

"I am Skye "

Jussi just steps back a little like im going to hurt him in some way.

 

 "Amy sweetie I need to go for a ride and clear my head I will be back in like 20 minutes"

Amy looks at me like what is wrong

Jussi just looks at me again

"May I come?"

I look at Jussi and just nod my head.

 

Jyrki's POV

 

From across the room I could feel the tension between Jussi and the ginger they had this strong vibe going back and forth like they were feeding off each others energy I took Amy and had her sit down with me and my friend while Skye and Jussi exchanged few words between them .

"So Amy darling Why are you here in Finland?"

"My friend needed some down time from the American life style"

"Oh so you two are staying at a hotel here in Finland?"

"Oh no she has her own little town house here"

I look at Amy her eyes are gorgeous its hard not to stare at her.

Joni walks over to Amy

"Amy where is Skye her lambo is no out back"

Ah so they are the ones that flew past us in the lambo I thought it would be Bam or one of his friends

"She went for a Ride Joni she has a a lot on her mind "

"I couldn't guess with how she was acting I mean something is wrong she only comes to Finland when she is trying to get away from something "

"Yeah plus I was kind of begging her "

"Oh Amy I see you have met Jyrki"

"Hello Joni long time no see how many months?"

"About 3 -4 months "

"Ha well it has been forever almost while I have you here Joni I will take the usual and get the pretty lady here a ---"

I wait for Amy to speak up

"A beer  please"

"Okay coming right up"

"Thank you Joni"

Joni walks away she is very beautiful beside the scar she has on her face from the bar fights.

"So Amy what do you do "

"Oh well im going to college at the moment I on break right now but Im majoring in Journalism and taking several other classes like photography and things"

"Oh that is good tell me more "

"well lets see Im 19 and well I listen to everything from Elvis to slayer"

"Ah so you have a wide range in music great"

"Yea "

I need to come up with some ideas something to talk to her about damn think Jyrki think

"So how did you meet Skye"

"Well funny story we first started talking online and writing stories together and stuff we lost contact for a few years until one day she was in my state for a photo shoot and I was the photographers helper that day I seen her and she just pretty much tackled me to the ground later that month she told me that she was moving in with me and I was like okay "

 

"Do you model your self?"

"Nooooo!"

"Why not I mean your very beautiful "

Amy starts to blush as the blood runs to her face I smile

I cant smile to big or she will see my fangs but if I do a quick smile and nod to her that might hide it

"thank you"

I look at her one more time before I start to thirst for something that will end my hunger

Her skin is so white and her neck so warm just begging me to bite into it

"So what kind of things are you into?"

"Well I love to write and draw a little "

"Oh so do I "

 

Jussi's POV

As Skye and I drive away in her car she looks over to me

"Why did you want to come?"

I don't know why I wanted to come what should I say to her

"Because I needed to get out of there "

"But why did you want to ride with me?"

"Why are you asking so many questions?"

I just look at her she is so beautiful I have never seen someone like her she reminds me of one of the red heads that you would read about in queen of the damned her outfit showed the shape of her hourglass body and her blue eyes could bring any guy to his knees

"Im sorry Jussi its just im really stressed out and kinda just wanted to be alone "

"Oh im sorry "

I look at her and I have this sudden urge to just grab her face and kiss her I think I will at the next stop light

She looks over to me

"Jussi have you ever had someone invade your dreams?"

What makes her ask this?

"every night why?"

Her head shoots  forward as she presses down on the gas peddle a little more.

"No reason"

Skye finally comes to a stop light and I lose my gut to do it.

"Skye why did you let me come with you"

She slows down the car a little and put a little smile on her face

"I don't know "

She comes to a stop

"What are you doing "

"Get out "

"What "

"Get out "

"Why"

"Just trust me get out "

I get out of the car and she drives off a little bit into the darkness she did not just leave me out here in the middle of no where did she I look ahead and see brake lights and looks like she is parking

A sigh of relief comes over me

She runs up to me bare foot with her hair down laughing at me and pointing

"You thought I was going to leave you didn't  you "

"Yea"

She gives me a hug ... it felt so right all the worries I had today where nothing

"So lets start over now"

She smiles and it just warms my heart she is so beautiful.

 

 "Hello I'm Jussi I play the drums in the band called the 69 eyes have you heard of us?"

"Well hello Jussi I'm Skye and yes I have heard of them they are one of my favorite bands you are a very good drummer but I tend to go for the lead singer even tho the drummers are my favorite"

I could tell she was joking about the lead singer thing just trying to mess around with me

"So what do we do know?"

"I don't know lets walk"

We started to walk around the park and just enjoy the peace and quite she would look at me from time to time her eyes just sung out to me kiss me over and over again with each and every look should I? I don't know

I stop and she turns around to face me as she turns to face me I give her the most passionate kiss I can but then I start to taste blood and push her away

she was in shock her fingers on her lips as blood slowly flows out of her bottom lip.

"Jussi don't let a little blood stop you Wow "

"I think we should head back to the bar"

He blood tasted so sweet like no other blood I had tasted before in my life it was hard being in the same car as her

She pretty much flew though the lights one by one just little blurs and lines of light

Don't turn your back on Fear

Skye Pov

As the rain fall outside my window, I hear his calls for me. I dont know his name, but i know that he loves me and someday we will meet. My daydream is ruined by Amy, Starr and Jess play fighting with lamont.

Amy walks up stairs to my room
"Skye come down here and join us stop being so gloomy "
I just look at her. she is a great friend but i dont know if i should tell her about this voice i hear calling out to me and how it just sooths me for some reason I think she would think im insane

Amy just looks at me and walks over and gives me a hug
"Skye everything will be okay Nick is the one missing out "
I just look up to her

"Amy can i tell you soemthing I really dont care what nick has done he means nothing to me know I have this little gut feelign there is someone better out there for me "
I look out the window again just listening to see if i can hear his voice again
"Skye"
"Yes Amy"
She just looks at me and shakes her head
"Dinner will be on the table in a hour "
"okay"

I wait half a hour till i walk down the stairs slowly everyone is in the kitchen I can hear them talking

I hear my name

I mainly listen to the three voices not the fourth one
 Amy specks first"Im worried about skye all she does any more is sit up strias in her room looking out the window "
Starr- "I know Im really scared for her mental health
Jess-"I think she will be just fine we just have to get her out of the states for a bit I mean we still have that condo in Helsinki
 dont we ha I rememebr that Skye's dad paid for that on her 18th birthday"
lamont-"guys you know skye has been standing in the hallway for awhile now "
I walk into the kitchen and just look at them
"Sure lets go to Finland ha It will take Starr away from cody and me away from Nick I mean hell Amy why dont you just drop out of college and lets all just give up what we all have here to go off to la la land where everything will be just fine "
everyone just looks at me as i fall to the floor
"Skye sweetie"
"No Amy for real I feel like shit my life is falling apart and I have nothing to prove for what i have done I am going no where "
everyoen just looks at me
"Skye do you want a drink maybe that will clam your nervous"
i look up at Starr with tear filled eyes and nod
"white russian please"
"on the rocks"
"nah"
"take that as a yes"

Amy pov

After Skye downed the whole bottle of vodka she went to the jack next she was downing all the booze in the house the whole nick thing has really gotten to her I went up to her room and noticed she had smoked almost a carten of cigs in the past day and a half she is really stressed out I got to get her out of this slum and to some place where no one knows her.

I go back down stairs and see Skye passed out on top of her drum set topless man she has hit the bottom really hard I pull the drum sticks out of the wall and lay her on the couch
starr is eating dinner and trying not to laugh at Skye.

I walk over to Starr "you heartless bitch your trying not to laugh at her you know what all nick has put her though we finally got her to stop crying"

"Im sorry Amy its just you should have seen her play the drums it was so funny no shoes no shirt it reminded me of the drummer from that one band she likes Jucie i think his name was"
I roll my eyes I dont even know what Starr lives here with us I mean after that big fight Skye and Starr got in after cody laft starr and cheated on her and stuff I cant believe she is still here

"Jess come on i got to plan things out okay Starr you stay down here with Lamont your little boy toy and watch over Skye "
Starr flips me off as i go up the stairs

I get Jess up to my room that i share with skye

"Jess okay this is my plan I know that Starr and Lamont will stay here no matter what and you cant leave here either I plan to leave here with Skye for about 2 or 3 weeks okay I planned this about 2 weeks ago i have already talked to my schol and well they said break is next week any ways i can take a head start so yeah I want you to pack all Skye's stuff tonight and put it in the back of my car okay "

"Amy are you sure you want to i mean Skye said she dont want to go "

"well I already got the maid cleaning up there and stuff"

 

Skye POV
Im dreaming I know it but I cant wake up all I see in front of me is a set of beautiful ice blue eyes that melt my heart away I am smiling the biggest smile and well im just standing there like everythign is okay i feel no pain and my sorrow is gone im happy just looking at this persons eyes I try to talk to them but my feet feels as if im nailed to the ground I start to panic

then i hear in a think accent of the voice i hear every night
"Soon my love we are gettign closer to each other as we speak by this time tomorow my love things will all click together and everything will be alright"

I wake up from my sleep im in Amy's car at the air port
"AMMMMYYY!!!!!"
"oh shit "
I see Amy put the last bag on to the cart
"amy i told you no"
"Skye please just trust me okay everything will be okay "
I fall asleep in the lobby after a long agruement with Amy I know she only wants the best for me

 

 

 

(sorry i have not been on ina long time just been busy with the doctor and my mom thank you all this is a new story just written today

Has every one forgotten about me ?
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Burning quickly
The love you left me my soul it burns with the memory of you
The memoy of your love
For some reason I die slowoly thinking of you and the pain you have put me thought
The hate I have grown and the thirst for your blood I love you but I hate you how is this so there is no remorse as I die you hate me I know but just you wait you reap what you sow

Two soul enjoin in the most beautiful sin
Two lovers reunite
Two minds
Two body’s
Join together to make one
One body
One mind
One soul
One sin
Lust ,Love,Sex

I open up old wounds just to let you inside
I show you the darkest parts of me
I open up just to you
As you tear me apart inside
I cry out your name wishing for you to stop and show me the love we had
To show me that there is still a chance for us to be once more
I tell you I’m sorry for all that I have done wrong
I hold close the memories that you have left me with
I open up just to be torn apart
I love you just to be broken
I tell you every thing just for you to be def to my words
I show you everything just for you to be blind to my needs
Show me that there is still hope in this world of sickness and darkness
Show me that you never meant to hurt me
As you claw out my eyes
Sow my mouth
Rip off my ears
And cut off my hands
Do me one last thing kiss my cheek
As the blood spills down my face
Let me know that it will be all right
Let me know I will die as soon as all the blood in my body has flooded out
Into a pool of hate and love

The reason I want to be a poet is I get to let people know how I feel.

I get to express my feelings in a creative way that is freedom of press and speech.

I get to do something I like and I get paid to do it, Poetry is a good hobby to have and an creative way to express your self and to get your feelings out if you hold stuff in it can make you ill and if you let it out in the wrong way you can a. be put in jail b.get sent to a mental ward or c. end up hurting some one you love and /or care about.

If I can not be a poet I would like to be a writer any type will do .Writing is a creative thing to do it also expresses your personality and it is a work of art in a way along with poetry.I write for fun I am writing three different books right now one called “What never was and shall be” the other s “Addict” and “Lovely lover”  but I had to delete them because my father didn’t not approve most of my stories are about vampires and secret worlds  my poetry express how I feel most of them are about heart break and love I write them for my friends and I .My friends tell me the truth about my poetry and I can always trust them to tell me if it is good or not. My third choice of job would have to a mental health Counselor I like to talk to talk to people and help them deal with there problems I like it when people confine in me and trust me I my act all mean but really I am a nice person at heart I am motherly like is what my friends say well the ones that know me well .I am a cancer in zodiac and the cancer is the motherly one in zodiac

Open up old wounds

 

Here I am once again alone in the world of hatred and pain

I am alone all thanks to you I gave you my heart and soul

As your knife digs into my heart you laugh at my pain as

I fall to the ground my cries are out to you for I gave you my

Heart in trust and love but yet you open up sealed wounds just to get a laugh or two

As you hear my cries you dig your knife deeper into my heart then you look into the box I gave you and you pull out my soul you look at me with that evil look and I am still begging and crying for you to stop but yet you laugh and then you break my little world leaving me in pain and misery my world is gone my life is destroyed and my love and hatred for you is the last thing I will ever have.

By Skye Rye

Why would somebody say that they love you then break your heart tell you that your beautiful then say that they never meant it was that love is it meant to make you think that you have a chance is it meant to make you think about that one person for hours on end just to have wasted your time when you guys break up? Is that love is? Is it meant to hurt like it does is it meant to drive you crazy why do we love it is only a cures but yet we all want it .

 

The knife you have put in my back burns like a thousand suns

The love you had given me pours out of my body leaving it cold and dark

The pain you made me feel all through my body as you leave the crime scene

Alone and cold in the dark ally way

 

I am sorry that I tried to love you I

I am sorry for what we had it was lust not love baby

I am sorry but I don’t need another friend

 

The cold lonely night is when it seems we fight and that is when you run to her arms

Leaving me cold and alone with my crazy family to only try hard to get you back

As you two get you clothes off and her skin touches your I feel a cold shiver through my spine as you to enjoin in the thing we were meant to have I cry for you are mine not hers so why would you hurt me the way you do as she moans I can tell she don’t please you as she grabs your back while yelling harder I can tell you feel nothing  for you are mine and no one can love you like I do baby I forgive you for you where vulnerable and weak to her powers to make you lust for her I know you didn’t mean to but shit happens as long as you come back to my warm open arm at night every thing will be okay ….By Skye

 

What was I not good enough for you was I to sweet was I to sour what was wrong with me the is the question burning up in side I want to scream out to you but you have gone to far and I know you just love to hear my cries for help and you I wonder what I did and didn’t do I wonder I wonder as I cry out to you I am down on my knees not begging for you back I am begging for you to just tell me what I did wrong .

 

 

Why you ask did I fall in love with you as I hit the ground bleeding want death to come to me fast but no death takes his time as you get in my face and ask me why I dare fall in love with you telling me I was going to get hurt and I should’ve known but I didn’t I don’t have a crystal ball telling me everything I learn for my mistakes baby and you was the biggest one I loved you trusted you but it turns out I was a toy you used me abused me and threw me to the ground as I cry out saying I love you finally the reaper has come and I am gone the last word I hear is that you never loved me

 

Crying feeling alone in a cold dark world where the only light is love but yet I cant find that light all because of you the light we had was lust and pain not love at all baby I am sorry but It was over when it started for when you try to fool the queen you only fool your self

Alone in a dark cold room that has no windows and no door out the only thing I have with me is my smile and a knife as my smile fade the knife start to look nice it looks to tempting like you as I grab it I hold it close to my skin a small cut is formed I let a scream you happiness I feel better for some odd reason I cut other parts of my body my arms my wrist my legs my ankles I get the same joy I had before when I was with you but this is love and it is addicting unlike you as I feel no pain I start to cry I beg out want to stop cause I feel my life slipping away

 

The penetrating blows of the bullets through my heart burn
I yell you for help I am begging scream yelling for you but yet you leave me to cry

You leave me out in the cold dark room where you first found me but you leave me with a gash in my heart it turns into a fountain of blood bleeding for you crying out for you

As you walk away I scream out once more just for you to silence my cries with a shush

 

 

Do I have Sucker written on my forehead?

For you take me and use me up just to throw me a way

You take me and abuse me just to laugh at my pain

You use me up abuse me and yet I still love you how can this be?

I feel used and abounded alone and cold shunned all at once how can this be all I did was love you but yet I must have had Sucker written on my forehead 

 

Smiles never heal a broken heart only love and kindness can heal such deep wounds

Kisses and hugs help a little but only when they are from the one you loved and you want

Family and friends are great unless they are back stabbers

And love fu(k that love is a bi*ch that will rule your world till it is a ruin in the pits of hell

 

Why do I long for you my love when the last words have been said is what I feel just lust for your body or is it love do I really want you to be mine this hunger I have for your love your body why do I want you so badly why I must ask you what is this curse you have cast unto me what is this feeling of of Love that I want so badly was what we had love or lust baby I need to know cause if I do try to move on I want to know what I may miss out on

 

How could I mess up my life so quickly I mean just yesterday I was in his arms laughing and smiling and yet here I am now wanting to cry I tell him the truth every last piece and yet he still leaves me I tell him yet he still leaves me how can he do this I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me but yet it seems every time I seem to find it the door gets slammed in my face and all I want s love and to be loved why cant I have what is want is it that had to give people ?

 

 

 

As I feel your cold arms hold me at night with lovely kisses and joyous hug I can tell that you truly love me we defy death every night we are with each other I see death knocking at our window but we do not answer for we a deeply in love

 

Death wants us death needs us our love is our everything death wants us death needs us but our love is stronger than anything death can throw at us our love it stronger yes stronger than death

 

Your sweet kisses remind me of hot summer days and your cold arms send shivers down my back but even though you do theses thing to me I love you even more everyday cause I love you and you love me and we must be with each other you need me and I need you so much we are lovers defying death each and every day with each other

 

*Death wants us death needs us our love is our everything death wants us death needs us but our love is stronger than anything death can throw at us our love it stronger yes stronger than death

 

(Repeat)*2 times

 

As our lips touch I feel a burning sensation that I want you to take over my body wrap your warm arms around pulling me closely into you your warm embrace I want you to love me but yet death wants us more what shall we do my love but try to defy death

*

 

I love and theres no way out

 

why would you go and do such vile things breaking the promise you made me you cheated you broke my heart and yet I take you back baby why oh why I ask you did you do such vile things I take you back cause I still love you but yet the trust you had before is gone I love you yes but the trust is gone and you will have to work your hardest to earn it back

 

You say you love me and I can see that you do but yet when a rumor comes around it totatly changes you you run into her arms like a horny dog with the smell of whisky and wine  I love is what you say to her but with just one look into your eyes she can tell you don’t mean it and that your thinking of me  and it is killing her inside you are mine and yet she still wants you

 

Passing away slowly and burning you out of my mind

The only thing that is left behind is old memories of you and me

The wonders the wounds

The happiness the sadness

The love the hate

And sadly that is how we ended was in hate

So passing away slowly and burning you out of my mind

These memories killing me softly and thinking of you till I die

 

 

Destruction of the heart down fall of the mind

With held from your love I am laying down crying

Depressed from your love as you sit there and watch my heart bleed you befouled it with you childish games and now I am dying

Blown away by sorrow
My love for him is in the sky on the wings
of a dove as I see it pass by I form a tear in my eye cause my love is gone and so am I

I am tired of guys breaking my heart it hurts more than the words you say you tell me 
I am beautiful they tell me I am ulgy you tell me 
I am awsome they say I am annoying you say you love me..they say they hate me
but them I belive you I dont you break my heart plus you want us to be friends
it is hard the feelings I had still remain deep down the feeling of love that I once had for you I shall never have them againg it hurts it burns  
I hate my self for this I hate myself for beliving your lies

Back to tears
The bloody tears in my eyes burn for i wish i could die a million times for the pain i feel it is unreal and nobody knows how badly i am hurt i feel like i am unloveable and i cant cry because of the broken heart you gave me for Chrismas  now bloodly tears come out of my eyes for i have nothing more to cry i dont have tears that taste like salt anymore I have tears that taste of my pain they are thick unlike water and they fall like rain down my face  now more than ever i wish i could die but cause of that promies i made i cant for then i would have lied and in the end i would end up like you !

I sit here
I sit here crying and feeling alone I have no music to comfort me
I sit here crying and afried that my feelings shall be hurt once againg
I sit here drying my tears for my cries are getting me no where
I sit here alone ,afried and drying my tears that I just cried
I sit here wishing and hopeing that they will soon return back
I sit here wanting to hear the enchanting tune of the songs I love but I cant for I cant find it for someone I once trusted stole my poems and cds away
as I sit here I feel alone ,dry, afride, and tired

Love is Death when Loveing you

 

Love is death
As death kisses thy lips
I stop to think twice was the chocie
I made right
As I see you start to walk in to the light
I want to kiss you one last time
As you start to fade I scream
For I never got to tell you how I felt
But know you are gone and what should I do
For I will never be with you
As I Awake from that Horror of a dream I
Make up my mind to tell you once and for all
That I love you and that I never want to be with out you
But as I awake it turns out to be worse than the dream for I was really about to
Lose you I was going to lose you to her but please I beg you listen before you act
Listen to what I  have to say
I LOV----  I Lov---what is this I choke you stop and laugh and I start to freak and cry
you run into her arms and as you two walk away i whisper *I love you and I cant stop I never want to be with out you but I guess I will have to  for you are with her * I walk away and i quitely cry to my self.

for my dream has come true

I hope your are Happy for what you have done
I am here all alone with nothing with me ,but a Knife ,a tub full of water ,and paper to writre my last words I loved you but yet  in the end here I am  all alone in a cold dark room with only my tears to comfort me and you were my hero my superman ,my lover ,but yet in the end you are  my evil villen, my Lex luther , My heartbreaker running away with my heart I glance into your dark brown eyes to see if you have any guilt for what you have done but I see none
I start to cry but the thought of letting you win hush my tears I return to my underground fortress to be alone but yet all around me there are memories of us and that is win I give up you win so here i am back to the tub full of water and the knife in hand now as I step into the tub i hear the last words you said to me  your right it is over I slit my wrist, drip the blood on you picture as I sink into the tub I just have one thing to say your a fake a poser  I hope you are happy for what you have done

Why did you choose her over me ?
Why did you hug her insted of me ?
Why do you want heer insted of me ?
I am here and willing she is taken 
She does not want you I loved you does she
I am here she is not I love you she don't
It is your choice but just to let you
know it my be you last chance to be with
me and just think you would have had someone that
was loyal and loved you for you not
for your looks I  LOVE YOU SHE  DONT !!!!

Body or Mind
Love or Lust
To be or Not to be 
Me or Myself
Vampiers or Werewolfs
Cat or Dog
Hot or Sexxxy
Bad Boy or Nice Guy
Geek or Nerd
Give a PoleDance or Lapdance
If you had a kid
Boy or Girl
Jet or Air Plane
Skatebord or Bike
Car or Motercycle
Romeo or Prince Charming
Sports car or Limo
if you only had  two pick one
to lose Hear See Talk
Mom or Dad
Brother or Sister

Jussi or Jyrki

Ville or Bam

1Mind
2Love
3To be
4Me
5Vampiers
6Cat
7Sexxxy
8Nice Guy
9Other I like Dorks lol
10 Both lol
11 Both lol twins
12Jet
13Bike
14Motercycle
15Romeo
16 Sports Car
17 I would choose to loose sight
18 Dad
19 Boh I am a only child  I hate it so much
20 both

21 both

this is all the poems i have showed you ppl hope you all like them i wrote them myself lol it not as easy as it seems

this one is called "Look Into "

Look into my eyes and tell me no more lies
for I am tired of my never ending crys for
once in my life I give up I give up on trying
to get you back and now my tears have slowed
down to show me the truth in your never ending lies.

this one is called " Tell me "

Tell me do you love me
Well I need to know soon
cause I shall not wait forever
so tell me do you love me or am
I just a toy that you will play
with and then get bored of then drop
to the ground for a newer toy ?
So tell me ... Tell me
Do you love me ?

why did you choose her over me ?
why did you hug her insted of me
why do you want heer insted of me
i am here and willing she is taken and does
not want you i loved you does she
I am here she is not i love you she dont
it is your choice but just to let you
know it my be you last chance to be with
me and just think you would have had someone that
was loyoal and loved you for you not
for your looks I  LOVE YOU SHE  DONT !!!!

this one is called "Heal"

My heart is trying to heal
but your filling it with lies
over ad over againg you need to stop
cause someday I will break free!

this one is called "Twilight"

Twilight,Daylight,Nightlight
no matter what kind of light is shined
my feelings for you stay the same .
like the sun it grows and grows everyday

this one is called "The Abyass"

My heart is like the black abyass growing
deeper and darker everyday after you walked
away with out a hug or even a glance back to see
if I was ok .

this one is called "Unwillingly"

My heart it sinks deeper into the black abyass
of your love as I go unwillingly i think of
how i once felt and how you want to use
that to make me feel it againg so i do as you want
the you push me out as soon as i love  you againg
you push me out to be on my owen againg
into the cold blistering wind

this one is called "I Look Out"

My eyes are glued to the window
as I wait for you to pass as I
look I finely see you are took
and I give up my chase for you
I see in your eyes you dont feel the
same as I do and now she is what I
Despise

this one is called " All I want for Chrismas"

All I want for Chrismas is my heart back
All I really want is the love I felt and
the warmth and the happyness I felt 
I miss you oh so much but,
I have let you go and,
there is on turing back 

 

this one is called "Why"

Why is life so confussing?
Why is love but, just a lie?
Why do I have feelings?
All they do is get me in trouble.

this one is called "Never Againg"

I use to tell you that i love you but I shall never tell you that againg
I shall never feel your hand in mine againg
I will never feel your soft lips apon mine againg
I will never laugh at the silly little things we have done
cause it will never againg be the same .

this one is called "My Wars"

My wars are in my mind
My wars are in my heart
My wars have begings but,where do they stop
I try to run but I cant cause my heart and mind
are with me all the time
So I can try but I cant run from my wars  

this one is called "To think of this againg"

My tears they fall like rain ,but now my pain has
ended cause now my love for you is gone with the
wind and now my heart is broken but now  it is healing
just to be broken once more 

 

I am .....
I am as free  as a Dove that has never felt love
I am as wild as a tiger ready for the fight
I am as sly as a fox coming in for the attack
I am as hungry  as a lion ready to pounce on the prey
I am Single and ready to play

 

Embrace
Embrace the corpse to see the one you love one last time for the tears you shed shall never be heard for the tears you have shed are tears of sorrow and love they are filled with your fears your fears are that if you dont have the one you love that you will go insane and that people will reject you and your sorrows are just the beging to your life all you have to do is look inside and you will see your true pain and your suffering is all in your mind.*^"^*

 

this one is new
Love or .....
Is what i feel love or lust
for i want him so badly
in my heart it tells me i need better
but in my mind it tell me that
he is the best I say i hate him
but is that a lie
i say i love him then that must be a lie
to i love to hate him or i love im deep down so
what do i feel do i or do i not love him but i dont
i like him but more than i should  why do i feel this way
i do not know some of my friends say to love him
and some friends say to hate him
others say do as you please but dont get hurt
how do you fall in love and not get hurt i dont know

 

Tired
I am tired of the friendship
I am tired of the lies
I  want you all to look in to my midnight blue eyes I told him that I loved him I told him till
I die I told him that he would always be by my side ---------
and what did he do he looked in to my midnight blue eyes and started to fill me up with his deep dark lies

Will You                      
Look in to my eyes and you will see?
a broke heart for sale will you buy it?                   
and give it love to heal it's wounds?
will you be nice unlike the others ?
will you clean out the salt in the                     
wounds  that the others left behind?
will you give it a name so it can feel like it is truely loved
will you pamper it and care for it?
and will you know that when you bought it?            
you got me so will you love me like you love it ?

Tears

my tears are like rain
but know my pain has
ended cause now my
love for you is gone with
the wind and know my heart
is broken but know it is healing
just to be broken once more

HOW MANY TIMES
how many times will i be hurt
how many times will i run home crying cuz you are with her
how many times will you miss lead me
how many mounths will it take to get rid of my feelings for you
and why do i even try to get you back
well i have a thought it is cause i love you so
or maybe it is cause i miss you lips and warm hands
i dont know why you care for you so
well now i am home aging crying my eyes out after i see it will never be i hope se loves you more than me but that could never be

 

this is called my eyes

look deep into my eyes and tell me what you see
in my eyes you see lonlyness fear of love dont you
my heart has been broken to mean times and now
i wish to die befor it is broken and filled with lies
just look into my eyes and see the pain i feel
the pian i feel is to hard to show if people wish to live my life they better think twice for what lies behind these eyes of mine
is my sacrfice is my anger my pain my hate my LOVE for him

love is a ...
love is a lie
you tell someone you love them
and they tell you to die and you want to cause your love for them has been shot down like a dove after it love is gone

 

Pull It Out

my heart it dies each time we are toghter
when you hug me it is like a knife stabbing
deep into my heart and as you pull it out it
hurts more than before and as you keep showing
me what i once had i want it more and more but
I know that shall never have it cause of the people
that stand between use I  still love you i do
but i dont know how to show it cause i am afride i may loose
you

If I Wake

If I wake before I die
I shall wake with a deathly sigh a wish for death
i shall make and soon my life the reaper shall take as i look into his eyes i
shall make ont last wishbefor i die and that wish is to kiss your
beautiful lips one last time

 I Cry
I cry at night when all alone
and I express the feelings i have grown
the wishs of death and the feeling
of love and you tell me sorry cause your emostions took over .... what do you think i am a toy you can play with as a game i am breakeable
and you should know for i have been broken once

Till death

 

i will love you till death even thought you dontlove me back
I will not forget the love i felt even after i am dead
cause i wil love you till death even after i am dead i will set apon your bed and wish you the sweetest dreams and once you are asleep i shall never leave and when you wake and do funny things i hope you feel my love even thought i am dead so i just want you to know i will love you

TILL DEATH

 

HIS
His eyes as sweet as chocolate
His arms as warm as the sun
His lips as soft as the petals of a rose
and so much he dont know
He dont know how much i love him
and how much i miss him
He dont know how i would sarfice my life to be with him
if only he knew then maybe he would still be here with me

 

Foret Me Not

Fotget me not for our love is still young
for what we once had has just begun
forget me not for I love you so
and know i am the girl who will never
forget the love we shared
so i will ask you one more time for get me not for i will always be by your side

 

 

You are like a knife

You are like a knife
shiny but sharp
a good thing to have
but looks can be
desiving (that may be spelled worng )

I Open
I open my wings and fly into the sky
as i close my eyes
i wish to die
but that wish will never
come true until i get over you

 

My love is my love
my love is my love in life and death and when i die i hope he dont forget dont forget the love the passion we shared it makes my heart ache to see him alone in the cold unforgetful world with no one to protect him for the evil that is out there

 

 

Blown away by sarrow

my love for him is gone in the wind
blown away by sarrow
my love for him is in the sky on the wings
of a dove as i see it pass by i form a tear in my eye cause my love is gone and so am i

 

What is

What is life but just a drama
what is love but just a lie what is this feeling that just makes me want to cry

Broken
My heart is broken into two just because of my feelings for you how they lie withthen me and all i know is that you shall never see the feelings i have for thee

Twists and turns
love is filled with twists and turns as it yurns and we all yell and we all bellow but when we are mad it is hard to be mellow i cant compare this feeling i feelit is just to hard to tell is it love or a death wish

" LIFE IS FILLED "

life is filled with pain and anger but there is diffrent ways about it but on the other hand we have happyness love and sometimes they all mix toghter and show a diffrent light on how you feel most people say you can only feel one feeling at a time but that is not true you can feel loved but angery or sad and mad or happy and mad or pissed and glad all at the same time but we are never  and i mean never feel one way all are lives . (not really a poem but i is good lol)  

this is called love and hate  LOVE AND HATE WE ALL FEEL IT ONCE IN OUR LIFE TIME ANGER AND RAGE  IT IS ALL LIKE A PILL WHEN YOU GET ILL HAPPYNESS AND SADNESS  AND MOST OF ALL MADNESS ARE  THE REASON YOU ARE SICK YOU GET SICK OFF YOUR EMOTIONS (SPELLED WORNG SORRY PEPS). THIS IS CALLED UNDER

I AM UNDER TIME OR IS TIME UNDER ME IT IS A MYSTRIE TO A STUDENT  LIKE ME STOPING IN TIME TO FIND MY SELF LOVED BY SOME AND APOSED BY ALL.

THIS IS CALLED ICE

LIFE IS LIKE ICE FROZEN AND COLD I AM SHUND FROM MOST SO HOW SHOULD YOU KNOW  .

THIS IS CALLED . DRAMA                       
WHAT IS LIFE BUT JUST A DRAMA WHAT IS LOVE BUT JUST A LIE WHAT IS THIS FEELING  IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. 

THIS IS CALLED  THE WIND ..|

THE WIND THE BREEZE IT IS SO FREE UNLIKE ME WITH A ROCK TIED TO MY ANKLE SINKING ME DOWN INTO THE NEVER ENDING BITTER SEA .

this one is called    " THE RAGE"

The pain the rage the anger i feel i just cant revil under presser to be what you want me to be  the love in this unspeakable feeling i shall never feel it or shall i for i my love i still in my heart and i think it is time  to start a new start  for you are my one  and only.

this one it called " LOVE IS "

love is filled with twist and turns as it yurns and yurns  and yurns in to the pits of our hearts   we all yell and we all bellow but when we are mad it is hard to be mellow  we all scream and we all shout but this love it is so hard to come out the words they are stuck on the tip of my tonge i am try'n to get them out but they are stuck like gum .

this one is called "MY HEART"

My heart is broken in to two just because of my feelings for you how they lie with the mysteries with then me which you shall never  see.

this one is called  "ROSES"

Love is like roses thorns and all the sweet smell like a cool summers breeze and the thorns like knifes in a dart board and the dart board is my heart  bleeding with pain of  never feeling  love aging.

Love  dont have a Danger sign we cant find it cause we are so blind  maybe the love of you life is right beside you in frount or behind you you shall never no if you keep hiding in the shadows of the broken and the dead you need to keep your shoulders back and head up high cause you can find true love if it is ment to be

new look at an old school that is full  of old people with new looks to New life new home new friends that you have just met or old friends that have changed and people that will care about you if you or new or old cause that is what your new and old friends are for ...

I set here alone once againg in a cold dark room alone with no one to love or hold with no one to call my owen no one to love with all your heart no one to think about before you go to bed and no one to wake up for no one for me no one for me I ment to have a broken heart  for I am not worthy of  true love guys only love me for my body and not my mind they dont listen to the pain in my voice theyt dont look deep into my eyes to show me the truth to show me the truth about the love they feel no one no one is ment for me cause he has come and gone I am alone in this world of hate

here I am alone againg crying my eyes cause you made me choose my friends or my love which shall it be I love you but they are family they will be there when you kill my heart  but you can show me to new worlds and show me what true love is my friends I can tell them any thing but you I cant for fear of losing you them I dont they will be there I have made my choice I choose them cause they are real and would never make me choose they love me for me and not for what you love me for

I lie here alone and cold and ready for the angel  of death to come and take me away
away form this world that is filled with hate and sorrow the pain I feel is starting to go to my head I hate it I hate you I hate me I just hate it all

 

I wish I was absent from life then I would not fall in love then I would not feel the pain of the words people say it hurts deep down I try not to feel it but it is killing me deep down

 Am i ment not to feel love ? Am i ment not to have happyness will you stab out my eyes and get it over with will you break my heart so i can get use to the pain againg will you kill me so i wont feel anything else will you burn my bodie i the flames of your heart will you kill me if i aked you will you get rid of the pain if i asked you ?

 

I am tired of guys breaking my heart it hurts more than the words you say you tell me i am beautiful they tell me i am ulgy you tell me i am awsome they say i am annoying you say you love me..they say they hate me
but them i belive you i dont you break my heart and want us to be friends it is hard and the feelings still remain the feeling of love that i once had and to know i shall never have them againg it hurts it burns and i hate my self for this

I  use to have someone that would turn my insides out
just when his name was said i use to have someone that i loved but i dont any more he couldnt handle the things that were said I still feel that way deep down but i have learned what i have done and i shall not give my heart  way so easy and i shall not tell any one who i am going out with

Here i am once againg single and thinking what have i done this time  i have no one to call mine i have no one to love i want some one that will stay by my side not some one that is in love with someone else and not some one that is in a grade lower than me

Love dont have an off button once you feel it  its like a knife stabbing and ripping out the vaines one by one in your body
and when you want to scream you cant cause then it shows you its good side and then you will never want to let it go and then once it is in the clear it will start all over ripping you apart and then you will look for the off button but you cant find it cause there is not one so then it will leave you screaming in the dark alone  and bleeding

 

 

 adidas
a All
d Day
i I
d Dream
a About
s Sex

sticks and stones my break my bones but handcuffs and whips  only excite me  (lol that is funny)

Back to tears
The bloody tears in my eyes burnfor i wish i could die a million times for the pain i feel it is unreal and nobody knows how badly i am hurt i feel like i am unloveable and i cant die cause of the broken heart you gave me for Chrismas and now bloodly tears come out of my eyes for i have nothing more to cry i dont have tears that taste like salt anymore I have tears that taste of my pain  and they are thick unlike water and they fall like rain down my face and now more than ever i wish i could die but cause of that promies i made i cant for then i would have lied and in the end i would end up like you !

I Am Going insane
People try to change me and change who i want to be
they tell me not to listen to this band or that band
they tell me they dont care but no when they are down and sad Who is there Me
do i try to change them ...NO do i telll them what Band to listen to and what band not to ?
...NO i am going insane for people keep trying to change me ... why cant you alll just let me be ? here i am letting you know how i feel through my poetry but look i can see you all cracking a smile and laughing at me Well i hope you see the tears in my eyes from when you make fun of me i wish once more that i could die .

I try
I try to be the best i can be
I try to make you all like me
I try my hardest but cant you see how you critcizum(spelled wrong
is doing to me
I try to be the best friend i can
I try not to be mean
I TRY TO BE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE

 

I Hate
I hate the way you look at me
I hate the way you smile
I hate the way you say hello and most of all
I hate you
I hate the way you Play me
I hate the way you talk
I hate the way you say you love me
I hate the way you walk
I hate the way you hug
I hate the way I hate you
I HATE THE WAY I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE
with someone who is a man whore like you

Who What When Where Why ....How?
Who do i love?
What do i love?
When do i love?
Where do i love?
Why do i love?
...How do you love?
What is love to you and me
some see it as the ending
but others see it as a beging
but what if i told you that love was both ?
Then what shall you say
i will tell you that is both because
love is the ending of a long long search
love is the beging of something
love is the ending of something old and boreing
love is the beging of something new and fresh

I sit here
I sit here crying and feeling alone i have no music to comfort me
I sit here crying and afried that my feelings shall be hurt once againg
I sit here dying my tears for my cries are getting me no where
I sit here alone afried and drying my tears that i just cried
I sit here wishing and hopeing that they will soon return back
I sit here wanting to hear the enchanting tune of the songs i love but i cant for i cant find it for someone i once trusted stole my poems and cds away
as I sit here i feel alone dry afried tired

Poems
You all wonder why i write such sad and drepressing poems ?
Well I write them cause that is how i feel
I write them cause I love to write them
I write them cause i have a special skill to write portey
If you want to understand you will have to have a broken heart
If you want to understand you will have to feel like you are dead on the in side
If you have to understand you will have to hear it in my sad lonely vocie and hear the way i say my words
You will have to here the pain in my voice when i read them to you ...if i feel well enough that is

Why me?
Why me?
Why did i fal in love?
Why did i fall into that trap?
Why did i have to have the broken heart?
Why me?
Why me?
Why did it have to be you?
Why did you have to meet me?
Why did you break my heart?
Why me?
Why me?
Why did i have to be stupid and fall into a trap that you had set up from the start just to hurt me?

Love is death
As death kisses thy lips
I stop to think twice was the chocie
I made right
As I see you start to walk in to the light
I want to kiss you one last time
As you start to fade I scream
For I never got to tell you how I felt
But know you are gone and what should I do
For if I like my self I will never be with you
As I Awake from that Horror of a dream I
Make up my mind to tell you once and for all
That I love you and that I never want to be with out you
But as i awake it turns out to be worse than the dream for I was really about to
Lose you I was going to lose you to her but please I beg you listen befor you act
Listen to what I  have to say
I LOV---- what is this i choke you stop and laugh and i start to freak
you run into her arms and as you two walk away i whisper *i love you and i cant stop i never want to be with out you but i guess i will have to  for you are with her * i walk away and i quitely cry to my self.

 
there are many more but i am tired now see ya hope you enjoyed !!! !_!
i love these poems some suck some dont you choose i think you could add them toghter and make a song if ya wanted lol good i wish i could do that lol jk i could i did and i dont know i sounded like a HIM song so yeah i dont want to sound like a copy cat lol but by the way i am a mager HIM fan lol i love finnish bands like
gothem o.d
the 69 eyes
the end of you
HIM (of corse lol)
and many more if you want to hear some good bands go to my friends list
god there are some hot finnish guys lol and some pretty awsome bands form other land lol i forgot how to spell lol

You might be a vampire if...
* You have a strong desire for and/or Stimulation by blood (sexual, revitalizing or

otherwise)
* You have a nameless craving that can never quite be fulfilled
* People you get close to tend to become tired, weary and upset a lot around you
* People tend to find you interesting at first, then begin to avoid you
* Even when surrounded by others, you always feel alone
* Sunlight/bright light in general hurts your eyes (but you can go out in it, even

so)
* You tend to be a night person by nature (because you may feel more

comfortable and "alive" at this time)
* You have had a strong interest in vampires(in any aspect of the genre) probably

since puberty onwards
* You have had a strong interest in vampires since a traumatic event occured in

your life
* You don't get sick often, or if you do, the maladies are often strange or severe
* You are a fast healer
* Sex tends to leave you feeling revitalized and full of energy
* You have drank blood before or would like to, if you could
* You enjoy imbibing sexual fluids because of the vitality they contain
* Electrical appliances and you don't generally tend to get along well (watches stop

often, computers malfunction for no reason, microwaves start up by themselves, etc)
* You prefer rich fabrics, tastes, scents etc.
* You are very sensitive to sensory extremes (strong scents, rough textures, sour

tastes,etc)
* You feel totally different on some elemental,intuitive level to most other human

beings
* You feel you don't belong in this century, maybe even this world
* You believe in reincarnation and maybe even have had past life visions
* Your dreams are often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of deja vu
* You easily "trance out" or find yourself detached from the world
* You posess an ability similar to ESP (or are highly intuitive in general)
* People often find you very empathetic to how they feel
* People often either trust you completely or think you are very dangerous.
* Your style of clothing tends to be more on the dramatic side
* Your relationships tend to be very rocky and emotionally unstable
* Your relationships tend to be very intense and passionate
* People tell you that you are too intense/an "enigma"/"dark hole"/add similar

phrase here
* You look younger than you are (when you're beyond twenty years of age) or

look older than you are (when you are younger than 20 yrs of age)
* You can see and/or read auras
* Animals tend to get along well with you
* You have good, natural "magickal" abilities (if you do spells, etc, usually they

work)
* You have only one or two friends/lovers who really understand you and whom

you get along with
* When you will things to happen, they usually do
* You can often easily tell how other people are feeling
* You feel sick/get rashes/etc in the daytime when the sun is shining
* (you're a woman) Your period starts late in the day and your cycle is usually

timed to the full moon
* You suffer from allergies






Common Misconceptions and their realities



* Misconception: Vampires are seductive, powerful, hypnotic creatures
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, although generally tend to have

more intense, charismatic personalities.

* Misconception: Vampires don't need jobs
* Reality: Vampires need to earn a living just like everyone else. They hold all

types of jobs from the mundane to the exciting, just like everybody else also.

* Misconception: Vampires are physically immortal and/or undead
* Reality: Vampires are physically mortal, with immortal souls. Vampires live normal

lifespans and normal lives and have never, at any point in their physical life, died

and risen from the grave.

* Misconception: Vampires are repelled by garlic/crosses/roses/etc
* Reality: Vampires can eat anything, are of all religions and the only time they

might be repelled by a rose is if the thorn happens to prick them :)

* Misconception: Vampires drink only blood
* Reality: Vampires come in two types: The blood drinking type (sanguivores) and

the energy absorbing type (psy-vamps). They, just like any other human, cannot

survive without a regular diet of food and drink as well.

* Misconception: Vampires are evil and know what they are doing is evil and wrong
* Reality: Evil is a relative term, and there is no being on earth who can state

with any validation what is good and what is evil. There are a great many evil

humans out there too, anyway. Furthermore, not all vampires even know they are

vampires...let alone contemplating whether their vampirism makes them good or bad.

* Misconception: Vampires can't go out in sunlight
* Reality: Vampires can go out in sunlight, it just generally tends to hurt their eyes

and/or give them heat rashes/headaches or illness (to varied degrees)

* Misconception: The only way a vampire can be killed is through

sunlight/staking/add other fictional vampire-killing method here
* Reality: Vampires can die of anything from bullets to AIDS to even a stake

through the heart...just like any other human being. Sunlight; however, will not kill a

vampire...this is a fictional device.

* Misconception: Vampires sleep in coffins/wear capes/have fangs/ are extremely

pale/cast no reflection/etc
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, as I've said. Many look, dress and

live quite normally. None are borne with fangs (tho anyone and everyone can get

fangs surgically implanted)...all cast reflections...and the only reason a vampire

might be a tad paler than most is an avoidance of sunlight (if they are sensitive to

it).

* Misconception: Vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a

superior race and who insist that everyone accept the fact of their existance.

Vampires will, if necessary use threats and/or go mainstream (ie: appear on tv

shows, in magazines, news casts, etc) to force people to believe in their existance.
* Reality: For the most part, vampires are very easy-going and tolerant...well as

much, that is, as any other human being on earth. Many will not force their beliefs

on others or share with the world that they are a vampire, unless a specific

individual asks and/or is interested in learning. If that individual still doesn't care to

believe that the vampire is a vampire (and/or has a difficult time of understanding

the concept of real vampirism vs, stereotypical fictional/folkloric vampirism) then the

vampire will generally not force the issue further. Real vampires also will rarely go

mainstream with their nature...in fact, most, if anything, set about to undo the

negative connotations the vampiric community has received by the influence of those

alleged "members" of the vampire community (who aren't really members) who have

indeed gone mainstream and committed heinous acts of crime, etc. Vampires also

will not go around making threats such as "Oh...I am a 400 year old vampire and

if you don't surrender to me I will kill you, etc, etc). Most will even seek to

debunk such fictionalized stereotypes. Furthermore, vampires generally also do not

believe themselves a superior race, just a different race...if anything, they may have

more of a deeper appreciation for life than do normal human beings. Basically,

vampires tend to live by a "to each his own" motto...they will not judge your

lifestyle/values/beliefs etc if you do not judge theirs



Common Bloodletting methods

Cutting
This method is fairly self explanitory, and yields the most blood. Take a knife...or more often a razor (the sharper, the less pain for the victim)...and cut just deep enough into the flesh to draw blood. Cutting the shoulders, back, arms or thighs is usually the most productive. Some also prefer to use scalpels (please, know how to use these first!!!), or other blood drawing methods such as hypodermic needles, syringes and various diabetic tools such as lancets.

Biting
Also self explanitory and one of the best ways to create intimacy, although this method yields only a few drops of blood. Lose the prosthetic fangs and use your teeth to inflict wounds...again, only deep enough to break the skin and not any arteries or major veins. Many people who frequently prefer biting have their canines professionally and permanently elongated.

Whipping, beating, thrashing, etc
This way is for the somewhat more masochistic at heart...not one of the better ways to draw blood as the donor goes through much pain, but for some people, of course...that only heightens the experience sexually, spiritually or both. It is recommended that only those with skill and training of using whips, etc partake in this method, since inexperience may cause fatal damage.

Menstruation
Truly a matter of what you like, but another good way to create intimacy without inflicting any pain on the donor, and offers a different experience and texture/taste of the blood.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Safety Tips

1) Always have a first aid kit nearby and know how to use it.

2) Always use clean, sterilized instruments when cutting or whipping. If blood stains the knife, razor, whip, etc clean it thoroughly or better yet, use the instrument only on that same person. Throw away all needles after one use.

3) Make sure that the donor has been tested for aids or other blood-born diseases. If at all possible, swallow blood quickly to avoid infection, especially if you have any wounds, cold sores, etc.

4) Ensure that the donor has a clear idea of what is about to happen to him/her, and of course, they should be consensual before any further action is taken. Also, it's a good idea to periodically ask the donor whether they feel alright and are not queazy, nauseous, etc. If possible, have orange juice available nearby.

5) Avoid major arteries and veins!!! Don't cut any deeper into the skin than is absolutely necessary.

Feed well, have fun...but be safe!!!